Office relationships: A do or a don’t?

You’ve been thinking about your gorgeous crush all day. His or her bright blue eyes, adorable grin, and infectious laugh  drive you crazy. You find this person endlessly interesting and wait breathless for the  next flirty text or IM. Your crush knows all of your friends and shares many of the same interests.  He or she even shares… your boss. Yes, “The Perfect One” also happens to be a co-worker. 

Getting involved in an office relationship is a risky proposition. Your reputation is on the line when you become romantically linked with someone at work. Not only do you have to worry about when and if to tell your boss and colleagues, but you also have to contend with the fact that at some point your relationship might end. So what’s a young professional to do?  Read on for tips on how to make your office relationship work.

Make sure the interest is mutual before you proceed. Be fairly certain that you really like the person before you become involved. An office is not the setting for speed dating. Try to get to know your love interest on a friendship level before you ask him/her out or become official. Understand that you’re putting your job on the line when thinking about getting involved with a superior or someone you manage.

Research your company’s policies. Some companies strongly discourage or prohibit office romances. Check with human resources to know where your company stands before you go public.

Have a breakup back-up plan. No one wants to think about breaking up, but try to have an honest conversation with your love interest about what will happen if things go south. Agree that you’ll handle things professionally. Most importantly, know yourself. If you’re not someone who can stand the sight of your exes, an office relationship might not be for you.

To tell or not to tell—that is the question. Think long and hard about who needs to know about your relationship. If you work in separate departments and never share projects, keeping things under wraps might not be a bad idea. If, however, your work lives are more intertwined, you should probably share the news with co-workers in your department and your boss.

Never, ever kiss and tell. While the office gossips might encourage you to share the sordid details of your relationship, it’s best to keep your mouth shut at work. Also, refrain from public displays of affection such as hugging, flirting, and kissing while at the office. Keep the focus on work and you will earn everyone’s respect.

Consider the future. If all signs point to soul mate, “the one”, or “I can’t live without him/her” you may need to consider a different working relationship. It may be necessary for one partner to move to a new department or even get a new job. On the other hand, if the relationship doesn’t make it, put hurt feelings aside and try to remember your original conversation about handling the break-up professionally. 

Be aware. Know that how you handle your office romance will likely affect other’s opinion of you. Be prepared for gossip and know where your priorities lie. Above all, think very carefully before you get involved in an office romance.    

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